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That's an interesting discovery. I had no idea that's how Substack was classifying popular posts like that. To answer your question 2, I'm mostly okay with Substack. My only gripe is that they only really promote Substackers who already have tons of followers. Mostly, I like Substack so far, especially the community-building aspect of it. :)

I write because I want to share my stories and experiences both as a writer and growth-minded individual. I love sharing what I learn through books and podcasts and connecting with others.

To answer your question 3 -- I think Substack's inherent way they built in likes and comments makes every single thing you publish a "popularity contest." Will this post do as good as, or better than the one before it? Why or why not? In a way it's a great way to measure what gets engagement. On the other, it can be a tool for making you feel bad when it doesn't.

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Sadly, there is a strategy behind why Substack promotes people with bigger followings—they're more likely to set up paid subscriptions, which is part of Substack's monetization strategy. I'm not sure there's a way to subvert it beyond charging for usage of the platform (the way ConvertKit does), but it is definitely frustrating to write, poke around Notes, and feel like the kid at prom without a date watching everyone else dancing and having a good time.

For what it's worth, your writing teaches me so much about understanding and patience and makes me want to forge a better relationship with my parents. So even though sometimes it can feel like you're publishing into the void, realize it is making a difference in my life :)

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Lol, love the analogy of prom! 😂 I totally hear you. Wow, thank you for your kind words. I am so happy to hear it! That makes me sooooo happy. As kids of Asian immigrants, I think we have to really be proactive about asking questions and coaxing those hidden stories (gems!) from our parents.

When I first started recording my parents, it felt so corny to ask them questions, but now, I realize it was such a great way to get those conversations going. Now, I can't shut my dad up about his childhood stories! :D

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It’s true! I’d imagine everyone wants to have their life story seen and heard. I know you don’t read a lot of fiction, but parts of Nancy Jooyoun Kim’s What We Kept to Ourselves reminds me of your memoir, especially since one of the father’s gas stations burns down in the L.A Riots.

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Oh thanks for the rec! I’ll have to check it out.

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I am going to try that cozy yoga today as soon as I get home from running errands! I’ve had a cold/cough for over a month 😣🙃 and as far as writing, I’ve mostly been writing from intuition and just what is interesting to me each week, but I think I’ll do a little brainstorming/goal setting for this coming year. I’m excited to read the post you shared about not needing a “right way” - I love learning more about other people’s process/goals.

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The germs this year are like no other! (I think I've said that every season post-COVID.) Keep me posted on what you discover with brainstorming/goal setting—during that exercise, I would encourage you to continue using your intuition instead of following a rigid framework like S.M.A.R.T. or OKRs. For myself, I've found the best goals rise out of my subconscious, which requires a lot of brain dumping to get there.

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I loved reading these reflections.

They all resonated with me, but also: I think it’s important to understand the “why” behind any public creative project you begin. Otherwise, it’s way too easy to get frustrated or influenced by people or trends that don’t line up with your “why.” (Especially since people never think to click “like” on an email, which makes it a weird metric for success in an email newsletter!)

Feel better soon, Sophia! Still laughing at that SNL skit 😂

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Right? In a world where people have thousands of unread messages in their inbox, opening the email *is* the like! And yes, your laughter signifies that if we ever start exchanging gifts, candles are definitely not allowed 🕯

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For some reason, I'm less hung up about having a small Substack following than Instagram & Threads—even though I know our mailing lists are infinitely more valuable! Perhaps because I see blogs & newsletters as investments into an audience that appreciates long-form content, and other social media rewards the dopamine rush of a snackable post.

But I completely agree: quality over quantity! I rather grow slow and steady than go viral with folks that aren't going to stick around. And I'm definitely sticking around here :)

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I think it's our B2B training that gives us this particular perspective of the sales funnel—social media to build an audience, emails to nurture and retain. I understand why Substack added a social media-like component (to keep people engaged within the network), but it's also added complexity to those of us trained to analyze the data. I feel like I'm in attribution hell, trying to figure out who came from where and what levers to optimize.

Marketing jargon aside—grateful we're aligned on quality over quantity and your support of my writing journey for many years over many iterations. Can't wait to see what 2024 brings forth for you ❤️

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I need to get cozy on the mat soon - like you, my brain has been in a spiral and when I come up for air (trying to make plans with friends or the kids friends) I realize we’re all spiraling. Here’s to 2024 letting us have more ease.

I digress tho. I have been slacking on writing my personal journey on Substack. Trading it for more events and selling. However, I know it’s calling to me. I write to give people the power to follow their own journey. Hopefully giving courage to others to do the hard stuff.

And while I try not to think about the statistics because I want my writing to be a reflection of me at the core - I can’t help but to always be drawn back to the stats. It’s much like any social media platform which I loathe. How many likes did you have. Who commented. Ultimately, what is your engagement. I find engagement to be the most rewarding. I’d rather create something that has people talking vs scrolling past. The “likes” are like acknowledgments to me. Like the head nod of a stranger passing you on the street. But comments and stories from complete strangers is like meeting your best friend of the night while drunk in a bar. It makes a mark and memory.

2024 is the year of more focus with engagement. We will see how that goes with kiddos as you know!

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In Buddhism, the path to right livelihood is the hardest thing to work towards—you want to help people, but you also have make enough income to buy snacks for your voracious children—hence the fixation on metrics 😉 I haven't found a path through the conflict, but I do know that there is no price tag you can assign on a conversation that turns a stranger into a friend.

I know and believe you will get back to your writing when the time is right, and I am eager and willing to read when it is ready. 💗

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