Popularity contest 💞

And why I write in spite of it

Photo credit: Giulia Bertelli

Like any healthy relationship, Substack and I have arguments—this time, over what constitutes a popular post.

At first I thought it was page views, but then I noticed an essay with a lower number lingering on my homepage. Then I assumed it was comments, which I quickly eliminated because of the adjacent Discussion tab. Finally, I figured out that popularity translates to the number of likes, which is easy to do if you’re logged in the web or mobile app—and more often than not, given by someone publishing on Substack themselves.

When I mentioned this discrepancy to my data scientist husband, he pointed out that a more accurate measurement for engagement is time spent on the page, not quantity of likes. He also reminded me that most early-stage companies have no business slicing and dicing their metrics until they hit 1,000 active users, which you could interpret one of two ways:

• It’s all bullshit, so why bother writing?

• It’s all bullshit, so why write in spite of it?

So in the spirit of reflection, here are three reasons I write this newsletter.

🌎 I write for the benefit of all beings

My fellow freelancers can attest that sometimes, there is a piece of writing you send off that makes you feel like a pile of garbage. You know it’s crap, but you have to meet a deadline. Or the piece is in conflict with your personal brand integrity. One time, I bad-mouthed a former employer on a blog post and instantly netted 100+ email subscribers. Was I thrilled my snark landed me a roster of clients? Of course. Did I feel good about it? Not particularly.

So before anything gets published on

The Write-Life Balance

, I always consider the give-and-take between writing for the click while also making sure the content educates, and doesn’t inflict harm on others. Even though I know listicles and how-to articles perform best, it feels icky to rely on those frameworks unless I have a strategy for subverting the trope.

All that to say…

💌 I write for my subscribers

I’m trained as an email marketer, so it’s no surprise I view everything from the lens of an inbox. Substack does its best to pitch themselves as a blog, online forum, and email service provider when, in reality, a writer should choose the medium that plays best to their strengths.

Because my list started out as an email distribution, I do my best to optimize for the people who have supported me from the beginning. This means I treat blog titles like a subject line; cater to skimmers by breaking up large chunks of writing with headlines and formatting; and make sure I don’t exceed the word limit before the post truncates in Gmail. My subscribers shouldn’t need to click to expand to read more unless they’re compelled to leave a comment.

Which is why…

🤝 I write to build relationships

If I’m being quite honest, I would take a thoughtful comment over a quick like any day. This doesn’t mean I don’t value likes or am above doing them myself—sometimes I’m in a hurry and use it to acknowledge the writer that I read and enjoyed the post. But more often than not, I let posts pile up in my inbox long after publication, as a signal to circle back and distill what I learned from reading. If I took the effort to subscribe, I believe you have a transmission of knowledge that could benefit my practice as a writer, parent, and overall human being. If I didn’t, I’d unsubscribe immediately—and expect the same of my own readers.

I’ve always been a person who prefers five deep relationships than two dozen acquaintances, and the same principle holds true here: If you’re commenting on my posts, the chances are high I will reciprocate and engage in a conversation.

---

Now over to you:

1. Beyond growth and income, tell me what drives you to write. What is your story, and why are you the best person to tell it?

2. What do you think about the method Substack uses to classify popularity? Do you agree or disagree with their metric of engagement?

3. Tell me about a time you struggled with popularity. What did you learn from the experience, and how did it change your perspective on the world?

Leave me a comment and let me know.

WRITE 👩🏽‍💻

Ask a million bestselling authors what their story writing process is, and you’ll get just as many answers—so why bother studying the craft of writing at all? Yet I felt so liberated after reading an interview on

Chapter Break

with Bianca Marais, who goes against conventional wisdom of writing a full rough draft in favor of finalizing an Act I.

More thoughts on this later when I write scenes again (trying to challenge myself to be more of a plotter than a pantster!), but here’s the full interview—there’s a paywall, but you can sign up for a 7-day free trial to read it.

There's no right way to write ✏️

LIFE 🏡

As an ex (emergency) planner, I fully support

Maddie Burton

’s work on

Your Five-Year Plan

. She recently asked her favorite writers about the best gifts they gave their Present and Future selves in 2023, and I answered with this Quince cashmere sweatshirt (believe the Instagram hype, they are so soft) and the workout plan I originally dreaded but may have had a panic moment when I logged into the app and was informed I no longer had access.

Full roundup here, with suggestions I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams. (I’m sorry, but how do I get hedgehogs to frequent my garden, let alone buying houses for them?)

🎁 The gifts you gave yourself in 2023

BALANCE 🤧

It’s the cold that keeps on giving, and it hit my husband and I hard two weeks ago—my daughter somehow escaped. I’m grateful for her strengthened immunity, but also wished she would tamp down her four-year-old energy for two seconds while I blew my nose for the 3252350th time. Combine that with end-of-year deadlines, the present buying rush, and the start of Winter break; and the chances are high you’ll find me on the yoga mat most mornings, waiting for the moment where my brain doesn’t spiral from all-of-the-things-on-my-to-do-list.

If you’re feeling the same way, try the following yoga sequence—my favorite part is when Adrienne’s dog Benji tries to sit on the blanket during her prep for a one-legged pigeon pose. Such is life with pets (and young children.)

READING 📚

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I loved this award-winning story about a Nigerian young woman who returns to Lagos after achieving the so-called American dream. The plot layers remind me of a carefully crafted pastry—a great internal arc about advocating for your happiness, the contrast of being a black woman in America vs. a member of the Nigerian elite with a foreign education, and of course, a second-chance romance that has you rooting for a happy ending. There were happy sighs once I finished, and now, of course, I’m adding every book Adichie has ever written to my Libby queue.

STREAMING ⏯

Earlier this month, I told my husband that the ultimate “I have to buy something for a female acquaintance in my life but don’t know what” gift is a candle. What I didn’t know is SNL beat me to the punch eight years earlier. While there are certainly people who genuinely enjoy receiving candles as a gift (like my mother), I am definitely not one of them.

COOKING 👩🏽‍🍳

During a visit to a new-to-me indie bookstore, I discovered my undergraduate thesis advisor’s food memoir about his family’s Greek restaurant on the outskirts of the University of Washington Seattle campus. After spending most of my senior year harassing him for the lentil soup recipe, I finally know what’s been missing in my attempts to recreate at home: copious amounts of olive oil. Still weighing the pros and cons of using water vs. a good quality veggie boullion cube, and will report back once I have the answer.

Happy holidays,

Sophia : )

---

P.S. Earlier this month, I shared my Substack stats for this year. The numbers aren’t going to shatter the Internet, but here’s why I’m still proud.