Great column. I just re-did the Enneagram and learned I'm a one, so I can ID with avoiding emotional collapse and doing organize-my-space therapy instead. I don't want to let those traits go (even if I could), but want to become more conscious of how my one-ness can be either an asset or a liability, depending on my level of awareness of WTF I'm up to and why.
I love Tony Robbins, and if I had the money (and were 10 years younger), I'd do some of his intensive courses. As you may know, zen buddhism is my main path, and I'm grateful to have discovered the version of it taught and practiced by Doshin Nelson via Integral Zen.
As for others' rules, that remains a tough one. Have I ever written and published/posted something without concern for what others will think? Rarely (never). Do I act and dress and play without thinking of customs and social expectations. Not very often. This is a big thing for ones--learning to put down our burden, "a heavy and constant sense of personal obligation." (The Wisdom of the Enneagram). I'd add "unconscious" or "unchosen" before "personal obligation," because fulfilling obligations, living with integrity are fundamental to being a good human being. It's the background sense of never doing enough for others that saps my energy and joy.
Hooray for another Enneagram One writer in my life! Apparently perfectionism attracts other perfectionists. What I love most about the Enneagram model is that they tell you when you're in stress mode vs. growth mode. You're spot on with saying you want to play more, because Ones in growth act more like Sevens, who are constantly open to experiencing more. You know better than me from the teachings of Zen, but it's almost as if you have to know and acknowledge the rules and then learn how to integrate them with the shadow of being a rebel.
Easier said than done of course, but life would be a lot less interesting if we knew all the answers.
I loved every moment of this - and really want cake now!
I have definitely been embracing the "if you hate it why do it?" attitude lately too!
Unfortunately that cake wasn't gluten-free, but will send you the GF blueberry coffee cake I made earlier in the week!
Great column. I just re-did the Enneagram and learned I'm a one, so I can ID with avoiding emotional collapse and doing organize-my-space therapy instead. I don't want to let those traits go (even if I could), but want to become more conscious of how my one-ness can be either an asset or a liability, depending on my level of awareness of WTF I'm up to and why.
I love Tony Robbins, and if I had the money (and were 10 years younger), I'd do some of his intensive courses. As you may know, zen buddhism is my main path, and I'm grateful to have discovered the version of it taught and practiced by Doshin Nelson via Integral Zen.
As for others' rules, that remains a tough one. Have I ever written and published/posted something without concern for what others will think? Rarely (never). Do I act and dress and play without thinking of customs and social expectations. Not very often. This is a big thing for ones--learning to put down our burden, "a heavy and constant sense of personal obligation." (The Wisdom of the Enneagram). I'd add "unconscious" or "unchosen" before "personal obligation," because fulfilling obligations, living with integrity are fundamental to being a good human being. It's the background sense of never doing enough for others that saps my energy and joy.
I want to play more.
Hooray for another Enneagram One writer in my life! Apparently perfectionism attracts other perfectionists. What I love most about the Enneagram model is that they tell you when you're in stress mode vs. growth mode. You're spot on with saying you want to play more, because Ones in growth act more like Sevens, who are constantly open to experiencing more. You know better than me from the teachings of Zen, but it's almost as if you have to know and acknowledge the rules and then learn how to integrate them with the shadow of being a rebel.
Easier said than done of course, but life would be a lot less interesting if we knew all the answers.
Well said! Seven, here we come.