The making of an artist 🎨

And why you are never too old to pursue a creative calling

I knew my daughter was an artist when I saw the doodles on her sneakers.

While other kids go for the washable markers, she picks out a $32 box of Edding brush pens. I’ve all but given up on the dining room table, accepting that it will always be splattered with glitter glue and tempura paint. In the middle of a sketch? Good luck trying to get her to eat (or do anything but finish her masterpiece).

But given my husband’s a data scientist and I’m a writer, it makes me wonder where or who she gets it from. Was she born with the talent? Did we cultivate her skills by paying attention to her actions and investing accordingly? Am I overthinking this, because she’s four and has plenty of time to change her mind? And most important of all:

Are you ever too old to pursue a creative calling?

At least that’s what I wonder while scrolling through social media, watching writers barely out of college score six-figure book deals as I inch closer to my 36th birthday. Then when I whine to my husband about “needing more time”, he reminds me it took Brahms fourteen years to compose his first symphony. That Charles Ives spent most of his life selling insurance, only gaining recognition for his modernist composition work a decade before his death. Meanwhile, my kid’s in the corner, yelling “Another piece of paper!” before one of us rushes over to assist her, doing our best to avoid her paint-smeared hands.

And that’s when I realize my daughter’s understanding of time only extends to the next five minutes. She hasn’t the slightest idea what it means to be an artist, let alone identify as one—she’s simply processing everything she’s learning and observing through the medium available to her. Her attitude is the perfect embodiment of what

Steven Pressfield

describes as a creative professional in his book, The War of Art:

The professional loves her work. She is invested in it wholeheartedly. But she does not forget that the work is not her. Her artistic self contains many works and many performances. Already the next is percolating inside her. The next will be better, and the one after that better still.

So long story short: We have zero control over the talents we’re born with, when we were born, or whether our families supported our desire for creativity. But what we can control is the inputs, or the amount of time we invest in our craft.

I have my tried-and-true tricks for making use of my (very limited) time, but I’m curious to know: What are your favorite methods for producing your best creative work?

Leave me a comment and let me know.

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WRITE 👩🏽‍💻

How does it feel to re-plot my book for its fifth (and hopefully final) revision? Honestly, not great. But to Lisa Rose’s point, it’s proof that the longer you sit with a story, the clearer the ideas become. In my case, I’m dropping an entire timeline! Turns out writer’s block (for me) isn’t rooted in laziness, but more about analyzing whether the words written properly convey the theme I’m trying to get across.

Of course, it’s disappointing to chuck 20,000 words into the trash. But what’s worse: hitting the Delete button or isolating the reader? Fingers crossed 🤞 my new direction results in a much smoother drafting experience.

LIFE 🛟

After hosting a triple birthday party, supporting my husband through technical screens and job offers, more birthday parties, and a friend’s unexpected trip to the emergency room, it’s official: March has been a month. Really hoping that saying about March showers ushering April flowers is true, because I am dangerously close to burrowing in a cave and not coming out until summer starts.

BALANCE 🧘🏻‍♀️

The good part of burning out so many times is that I know the symptoms and can usually catch myself. The bad news is, I keep burning out. Nevertheless, it’s good to know I need to take some time for self-care when I:

1. Fixate on the most granular of details (As in, pull out a toothbrush and start scrubbing the baseboards).

2. Mess up calendar dates (Either mixing up days and months, or flat out forgetting birthdays and milestones)

3. Develop facial blindness (Meaning I’ll run into an acquaintance, but it doesn’t register in my brain that it’s someone I should be greeting.)

So my goal is to try for a single self-care activity. Unfortunately, my first attempt ended in a cancellation of my HydraFacial thanks to “the worst stomach flu [the provider] has ever had.” Again, here’s hoping April shakes out a little better than March.

READING 📚

Dust Child by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai. I actually got to meet Quế Mai on her U.S. tour, and I was so glad I made the trek into downtown Seattle to get my book signed (via light rail! What is this madness?!) Although this story didn’t resonate with me the same way The Mountains Sing did, I was impressed by how she weaved together the lives of a sex worker entertaining American soldiers to pay off her parents’ debts, a former helicopter pilot yearning for closure, and an Ameriasian man searching for his parents. No wonder the book took her seven years to write!

Quế Mai being interviewed by author Karl Marlantes

STREAMING ⏯

How to Own Your Vision as a Leader from Brendon Burchard. It’s one of his longer podcast episodes, but his thoughts on how most friendships are “assigned, not aligned” stuck with me the most. Start at 40:00 and listen to the end.

Your friends should be lifting you up, not pushing you down. Your friends should be inspiring you to get better. Your friends should have your back, but also be willing to challenge your face.

COOKING 👩🏽‍🍳

My daughter asked to bake the other day, and it resulted in this super moist vegan chocolate cake. I poured the batter into a 13x9” rectangular pan, cut the cooled cake into 6” rounds, and layered it with Salt and Straw’s coconut marionberry sherbet and coconut whipped cream for a fancy AF ice cream cake. No pictures because I forgot to line the pan with plastic wrap, but check out

Alison Roman

's recipe for more flavor combinations. I suspect I will bring these to potlucks all summer long.

Happy Spring,

Sophia :)

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P.S. In case you missed it, here’s last month’s essay on imposter’s syndrome, and how I alleviate the fear of being a fraud.