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Thereâs nothing special about turning 37.
Beyond being in Portland for the last leg of our road trip, it started off like any other dayâa 7 am wake-up time, a workout and a bottle of water by 8, and breakfast and a matcha latte by 10. We hit the road by 11, stopped for a late lunch at a roadside cafe, and weaved our way around a 9.5 mile backup on I-5. Thank god I had the foresight to stock my freezer with ready-to-eat proteins and vegetables before we leftâwe arrived home just before 5, travel-weary with an empty fridge. The highlight of the evening was putting in my scalp treatment, followed by a facial mask, and to be completely honest, I do these things once a weekâŠit just happened to fall on my birthday.
And yet: I have never felt so alive.
I always ask my interviewees about the roles they balance in their life, but have only recently settled on the ones that I prioritize above all else: present mother, supportive spouse, hard-working writer. And thatâs exactly how I spent our first day of vacation on the Oregon coast. I built sand castles with my daughter, doing my best to relish every moment before she starts kindergarten in the Fall. A hundred yards away in the water, my husband was learning to surf, checking off a long-standing item from his bucket list. And I did lug out my laptop to writeânot a lot, but enough to be satisfied with my progress. No amount of success will change my commitment to these roles, and if anything:
Turning 37 has made me more attuned to moments that may seem insignificant, knowing they are part of a larger story that has yet to play out.
If this were a movie, my internal arc would be completed by now. I would have risen to the call of adventure, stumbled across a mentor, discovered my power and abilities, and vanquished the villain. But sometimes I think we forget that in the real world, doing X + Y doesnât always equal Z. That gritting your teeth and trying harder doesnât necessarily result in accomplishing the thing thatâs just out of reach, believing that our quest for more money, followers, or *stuff* will quiet the fear that rages inside as we navigate an unpredictable world.
In other words, the happy ending to my story hasnât been written because Iâm focused on embracing these precious moments as a mother to a five-year-old, a wife to a technology leader, and an up-and-coming writerâand honestly?
After living with crippling self-doubt for most of my life about my identity and purpose, 37 feels like a fresh breath of air.
So even though itâs a little taboo to talk about age, I still want to know:
Have you ever had a birthday that meant a lot to you, but didnât align with the typical milestones?
Leave me a comment and let me know.
Recently on The Write Life Balance
Itâs so clear to me that
âs gift is bringing gratitude to the worldâand as evidenced by my words above, joy finally feels like something I can fully experience. In case you missed it, our interview is below.Summer Links đ
đ My husband visited Powellâs and brought me back Jungian psychology texts from Marion Woodman and James Hollisâif thatâs not true love, I donât know what is.
đ«Â These made-from-scratch sâmores may have won over this marshmallow haterâI may ship a kit to my door before summer ends.
đźÂ Glad someone else noticed the collective unconscious-like feel of Brunoâs character in Encanto! (Also, I am definitely the Mirabel of my family.)
đ This red lipstick makes me feel like I wandered out of a J.Crew catalog, and now the problem is choosing the next color I want. (PsstâŠI also swear by their lip oil.)
đ„Â Used this deli-style pasta salad recipe as a jumping point for my own variation: black olives, beets, cucumbers, grated carrot, and the best goat cheese Iâve ever tasted.
Happy July,
Sophia :)
P.S. Summer break is in full swing, so this will be the last issue until September aka when my kid is in full-time school đ If you want to talk before then, donât be shyâshoot me a message!
Yay, Sophia! Happy birthday! Keep up the good living.
This brought back so many thoughts and feels from my own 30s, when life was on an even keel and kids were young and fun. Some of the best years of my life.
Things were upended for a few years, but we found our equilibrium again for another fifteen years; now we are at another difficult seam in life, but we'll push through it and, I hope, find a new equilibrium in the Pacific Northwest.
Having twice experienced the "37s" you describe so well (um, my own idiosyncratic version anyway), I am confident I'll find it again, in a truly empty nest this time.
Grace and strength to you at 37 and always!
Sophia I loved this! What a testament to your capacity to embrace all facets of yourself. May the rest of the summer be smooth and full of sweet moments!